Celebrities = Idiots = Funny

I'm generally not really interested in the lives of celebrities, but every now and then.....what happens in their life just gets published everywhere that I just can't avoid not seeing them, even when I'm not looking. First I hear Reese Witherspoon gets divorced from Ryan Phillipe. Then soon after, Britney Spears dumps Fed-Ex. Seriously, if you're a star of any kind, you must experience a divorce. If you haven't, chances are that you're not really a big star. Seriously, name one famous movie star that hasn't gone through a divorce??? If you want to become more famous, then you need more divorces. If you're Elizabeth Taylor, you start your own divorce fan club. After your divorce, you must immediately find another spouse, and then go have kids in Africa. Whatever the case is with Britney and Fed-Ex, I'm totally surprised she even got married in the first place. I'm definitely out of the loop, because I have no idea what Fed-Ex even does. Maybe that it, he doesn't do anything, except spend Britney's money. She has more than enough. Furthermore, if celebrity couples do get married and have kids, they must have the most ridiculous names ever: Kal-El Cage (Nicholas Cage), Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q - Bono (U2), Apple (Gwen Paltrow and Chris Martin), Dandelion - Keith Richards (Rolling Stones),
Zowie Bowie - David Bowie

Dear Mr. Cage, you must be watching too much Superman. You must name your next son Lex Luthor.

Dear Bono, your son will never learn to spell his name, or even pronounce it. Seriously, what the heck is a Q???

Dear Gwen: Apple??? Apple??? My god, you must be using your Mac too much. What will you name your next kid? Kiwi? Orange? Banana? Peach? Pear? Why are you trying to make all your kids fruits? Seriously, as if she won't be made fun of enough, you had to name her Apple. God, you will seriously regret this.

Here's Gwen's response: It sounded so sweet and it conjured such a lovely picture for me – you know, apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical – and I just thought it sounded so lovely and...clean! And I just thought, "Perfect!"

Yes, it is biblical....except maybe you forgot to read the bible, or what happened to Eve when she took the Apple. Idiot!

Dear Mr. Richards: Dandelion - Dandelions are the hardest weeds to get rid off. Enough said.

And finally,

Dear Mr Howie: You're are trying too hard. I think Owie would be a better first name
Perhaps you should check out urban dictionary before you choose that name:

Zowie: a word that perverted old men aka, coots use when seeing a hot chick stone ridge girls or visitation girls. don't use this word - it's ickypoo.

Ex:
old man: zowie! look at that girl. didn't make um like that when i wuz a boy.
girl: eww! perv! i'm calling the police!